I take my first sip of tea.  Sheba barks at a passerby.  It’s Monday.  It’s a cool 3 degrees Celsius sunlit morning.  Gold and orange leaves drift down my elm trees and roll across the sidewalk.  I think of the song The Autumn Leaves.  I am feeling mellow and relaxed, none of yesterday’s angst.

I have to ask myself of yesterday, Was that true?  Or did I let myself get roller coasted by the false feeling of the moment?  I have to be more conscious and question myself the next time it happens.  In the throes of my angst, I feel such self-loathing, mean spirited and anger.  Is that who I am.  What if it isn’t true?

This morning I consciously choose to turn it around.  It isn’t true.  What would I be without those thoughts about myself?  I am not that person. That is when the sun came out and opened the door to my heart.  I feel such relief.  Thanks be to Byron Katie and her teachings!

alice-little-doorI can tell another story for I am THE writer of my life.  I have the control of the keyboard and the words.  The page is clean, ready for me.  What WILL Alice do today?  Will she swim out of her puddle of tears?  Will she follow the white rabbit or will she choose a path of her own?  Will she continue to shrink and grow, shrink and grow haphazardly?  Or will she put her foot down and say NO MORE ?  I will be am who I am.  I am Alice of the normal size.

Can you tell I have a fascination with Alice in Wonderland and Lewis Carroll?  How can I not be? The charming nonsensical story brings a smile to my face.  Just imagine yourself in a doll house, with one leg up the chimney and an arm out the window.  Picture a gathering of animals outside underneath the window.  The are trying to mount a ladder against the wall to reach the arm and yank Alice out of the house.  See what I mean?  Are your lips quivering with mirth?

Life need not be so serious and high voltage all the time.  You can easily burn yourself up rah, rah-ing.  Just watch this video.

Tight dresses and stiletto heels can be hazardous to your health.  You can trip and fall.  I hate even imagining the how of the fall and where those earrings would catch.  Not that I am knocking Lisa Nichols.  Life coaches and motivational speakers have important roles. Sometimes we need a rah or two to push us off our butts.  I admire people like her and Tony Robbins.  They have such electric personalities.  They can get you moving, but will you be able to sustain it after the show is over?

I go for the slow motion of tumbling down Alice’s rabbit hole.  It’s a needed rest from my seriousness.  What is slow and fast can be deceiving.  Sometimes I am faster than I think. I have a friend who signs off with “Don’t move faster than your Guardian Angel can fly” after every email.  It’s good advice.

I like to say in the words of Gracie Heavy Hand from the Dead Dog Cafe :

“Stay calm.  Be brave.  Watch for the sign.”





About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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