IMG_3266There’s a time like this when I am missing my laptop.  If I have it still, I would like to sit here, on the deck and tap away my melancholy.  I would watch each black letter march across the screen, forming words and thoughts.  No matter.  I will make do with my pen scribbling across the page.  I’ll tap later.


sheba on deckI am sitting here in the late afternoon.  I am comforted by its warmth surrounding me. My Purple Wave petunias greet me each time I look up from the page.  I hear the children laughing from the daycare near by.  Sheba sits at my feet.  I sip my tea.  Traffic rumbles from the front street.  The neighbour’s voice rasps her words.  A jet flies overhead.  I am in the midst of life.

Some announcements can knock the socks off your feet.  They bring tears to your eyes.  I am still stunned and disturbed over this death announcement.  Why am I feeling like this? This business of life and death is well known to both of us.  And sad news is no stranger. Still, it is hard for me to accept.

I knew her when she was a young intern and I, a wet-behind-the-ears nurse.  I remember-ed an incident when I called a Code Blue.  She and the crash cart arrived at the same time. I could not remember if the patient lived or died.

I knew her, but not well at all.  I had not known that she was ill.  Oh, the speed of it, the speed of mortality, of bad news!  It was like a thunderbolt.  It left me vulnerable, unprotected and unprepared – unwilling to face it straight on.

I scribble and erase cross out, scribble some more.  My pen moves across the page.  Birds chirp back and forth.  Traffic is whooshing by on Preston Avenue.  The sun shines on.  I am finished my tea.


About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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