The thing worse than having the blues is having the summer time blues. You have no excuse for your feelings then. There are all those upbeat songs about being happy like Mungo Jerry’s In the Summertime. Even my downbeat feet beat time to the rhythm.
If you’re in the need of mellowing, Ella can soothe you with her crooning.
I would not advise listening to Janis Joplin. Not only are the fish jumping but so is my heart, from watching a little of her rendition. Better leave that one for a brighter day and a more stable heart. Be still, my heart! Nothing can harm you.
The clouds have returned and I am feeling my heeby jeebies. Nothing to worry about. I am quite familiar with them. We are old friends now. I will breathe and have another cup of tea and tap out a few more words, if I can. The piano is there waiting for me. I have almost conquered My Heart Will Go On. I am ready to tackle Fur Elise. I don’t pick easy pieces, do I?
Learning to count and to keep time resets my heart and quiets my mind. That’s why I like the tap, tapping of my keyboard. It’s much like the steady rhythm of knitting needles. Click, click, click. I’m killing several birds with one stone. I’m not wasting time, tied in knots, huddled in fetal position or getting trouble with other people because I am not ‘feeling up to par’. At the end of the day, I have something to show – a piece of writing, a scarf, learned a piece of music. Not all in the same day, of course, but you know what I mean.
It’s good that time does not stand still. I have to move along and not wallow in old feelings and old memories. Sometimes when I see old photos, I do want to hang onto my youthful self with all my might. But you know how impossible that is. So I give it up, remembering that I did not appreciate it at the time. It is how it is. You are always envying what you had. It is our human nature.
I have come to appreciate my ‘down’ time. I am a little more reflective and aware, not so caught up the usual. It is the same with my sleepless episodes. It is what happens. I value the insights I get with my altered mental state. Things are not clear and more clear at the same time. I go Wow! I tell myself not to stress myself so much the next time when I am blue or sleepless. It is just the rhythm of life. Learn from it if you can but do not beat yourself over it.