onethousandandtwo

Looking at Infinity

MOVING ON – Friday Fictioneers

Posted on June 20, 2014 by hafong

It’s Friday and time for fiction of 100 words, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

PHOTO PROMPT
Copyright -Mary Shipman

He glanced up at the once grand and graceful building. Its walls still stood tall and erect. But it was stripped of its finery. Its fine coat had long ago faded. Boards bared their decay.

The windows stared back at him, their lifeless eyes devoid of their sheen. A shadow floated past. He shivered in the gathering dusk. He saw the woman’s ashen face.

He gave one final look. He remembered the life that once was – the light, the warmth of laughter, the clink of glasses, music, dancing….

They once were but no more. It was time to move on.

19 thoughts on “MOVING ON – Friday Fictioneers”

Elaine Jeremiah on June 20, 2014 at 9:54 am said:

This is fantastic, you’ve conveyed so much emotion and intensity in so few words. Lovely. 🙂

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- hafong on June 20, 2014 at 9:59 am said:
  
  Thank you, Elaine!
  
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ahtdoucette on June 20, 2014 at 11:23 am said:

Creepy and sad, but I like knowing he is able to move on with his life. One has the feeling of being like the ghost looking in.

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- hafong on June 20, 2014 at 1:34 pm said:
  
  I am happy he moved on, too. When you are the writer, you make that happen. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
  
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empeck on June 20, 2014 at 4:26 pm said:

What a lovely, sad story. Beautiful work!

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- hafong on June 20, 2014 at 4:40 pm said:
  
  Thank you. 🙂
  
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FabricatingFiction on June 21, 2014 at 12:26 am said:

Really descriptive.

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- hafong on June 21, 2014 at 8:23 am said:
  
  Thank you!
  
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patriciaruthsusan on June 21, 2014 at 4:16 am said:

Lily, You completely captured the look and feel of that building and its ghost with your vivid description. I felt like I was there. I also felt glad that he was able to move on with his life. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

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- hafong on June 21, 2014 at 8:22 am said:
  
  Thank you, Susan!
  
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Nan Falkner on June 21, 2014 at 11:14 am said:

Dear Hafong, “A shadow floated past . . .” Really great imagery! Thanks for the scare. Nan 🙂

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Maree Gallop on June 22, 2014 at 6:52 am said:

Lovely piece, so beautifully told. Your descriptions allowed me to visualise everything. Well done!

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- hafong on June 22, 2014 at 2:31 pm said:
  
  Thank you!
  
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aliciajamtaas on June 22, 2014 at 5:12 pm said:

Oh, yes, I could hear the music and the sound of glasses touched together in a toast. Lovely

One suggestion – Watch “repeats” like – he shivered, he saw, he gave, he remembered. Or you can ignore me.

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- hafong on June 23, 2014 at 7:15 am said:
  
  Thank you Alicia! I see what you mean about the repeats. I appreciate you telling me. Sometimes we can’t see that for ourselves.
  
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Björn Rudberg (brudberg) on June 23, 2014 at 12:44 pm said:

Somehow I see Miss Havisham moving up there.. lovely language.

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marysmoments4life on June 23, 2014 at 3:04 pm said:

Similar sentiments to my story…only memories remain. Nice piece.

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- hafong on June 23, 2014 at 4:29 pm said:
  
  Thank you for reading!
  
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rochellewisoff on June 24, 2014 at 3:47 am said:

Dear Lily,

Nicely done.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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