I’m feeling like a fetus in the womb, warm and safe. And I am not ready to come out any time soon. And if I could sing, I would croon myself a lullaby .. to send me off to dreamland. Hushabye, don’t you cry….
It is alright. I can cry even if I am a big girl. It’s a sign of being human, vulnerable and brave. And it is some sort of rites of passage. I would want to mark it in some sort of way, even if it is in some sort of paralysis.
I have forgotten that I am a living organism of cells and protoplasm. I am made of energy. I breathe, feel and react. I have lived years in the world according to rules, regulations and protocols. Now all that is switched off. How shall I live then?
Now is a good time to pause, to let all the tremors, doubts, fears and other bogeymen run through my body. Let them come, one by one. Let them sweep me clean of all malevolence. Let me get to know the woman who is still in me…..the woman of hope, joy, laughter, love……waiting to be born again.