Today the jukebox in my head was playing Esther Phillips. She was singing From a Whisper to a Scream. My jukebox has been silent for a long while. Now it wants to scream. I think I woke it up with my own screaming. I’ve been silent too long and now I am hoarse with my yelling. Sometimes you have to, just to be heard. Even then, after screaming and screaming, you might not succeed. They don’t want to hear, but you can tell yourself, at least I’ve tried.

I think trying is good enough. Having done so, I can go back to whispering. It’s softer on the ears and easier on the throat. And people will not think I’m a crazy mad lady. I can breathe easier. My heart rate will slow and I can be mellow as a cello. I am getting better at this, at letting off steam. I blow my stack and you can see steam coming out my ears like in the cartoons. BUT none stays within. And I go WOW! I feel ok, calm and cool as a cucumber. I might lose a friend or foe. But then I can always make new ones, right?