November 1, a brand new day and month. For once I am without a project/challenge. It’s a little unsettling. I’m a ship without a captain. I’m a captain without a compass. What to do and where to go? Must I have a purpose and a sense of direction every single day of my life? And so I drifted aimlessly today, binge watching episodes of Yellowstone. It’s full of violence and exudes of sex. It’s not a feel good and certainly not good for my soul. Still, I’m watching. It’s engaging and fills the void.
Perhaps my project for this period in time would be a pursuit of something that feels good and that feeds my soul. It will be a challenge alright because my mind is at lose ends. Nothing excites or engages me. It is hard to think that not long ago, I was excited about waking up to a new day at bedtime. I couldn’t wait to step outside to breathe the morning air and see the sunrise. I would take a tour of the yard and the greenhouse before breakfast.
Where did my joie d’vivre go and how can I get it back? Perhaps I shouldn’t give in to my despondency and malaise so easily. Words and pictures have always been my best tools. November is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) . I don’t have to write a novel. I can just write. Maybe I can write myself out of my funky mood. I can be my own therapist. I can draw my moods. I have always wanted to explore mood boards. Here’s an opportunity to solve a problem creatively. I can do it.
onethousandandtwo 
First, I love, love your picture. Lately I too have been thinking of my purpose. One thing that keeps me busy/focused is making and using a bullet journal. It can be anything you like. A place to pit day to day events, planning, journaling, reflections (but you have your blog for this), drawings (I am trying doodles), daily or weekly habit tracker. I started to use it to keep track of what I was grateful for and doing one thing for me and one thing for someone else when I was in ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy).
I sense that it won’t be long before you find your next project/adventure.
Thank you, Cheryl. I have to admit that the photo is not mine. It is lovely. Though I have this space to write in, a journal to write and doodle is a good idea. I’m trying to depend less on electronics and gadgets. They are distracting and shortening my already short attention span. It’s harder now to engage in real life. Thanks for dropping by. I appreciate your comments.