Autumn is not the best season for me. I could say that about winter, spring and fall, too. Rather than labelling myself with a disorder, I’m choosing to acknowledge that I’m sensitive to weather and seasonal changes. But aren’t we all? We all respond to changes in temperature and light in our own unique ways. Some more than others.

I’m doing much better now than when I was younger. Experience is a good teacher. Being more physically fit makes a huge difference. I’m feeling blessed though I still grumble alot. Well, I do feel so sleepy throughout the day. Sometimes it’s hard to get things done. Good ideas and creativity seem out of reach. My concentration – where the hell did it go? And forgetfulness! Sometimes I feel the need to set a reminder to take my meds. I woke up at 4:am one time and remembered I didn’t take my bedtime hypertensives. Then there’s the crankiness.

I was so cranky this morning at the YWCA. The locker room was so crowded at my usual spot. The women were visiting and talking animately. I could not access my usual locker. I was rather miffed but went to a different row. Why fight the crowd? When I was leaving I received a few ‘looks’ from women who were not used to seeing me there. We are so set and territorial about lockers and seats even when our names are not on them. It’s healthy to upset our apple carts once in awhile.

My apple cart was further upset when I got into the gym for the tabata class. It was abuzz with loud chatter and too many bodies. Equipment were in scarcity. The lights overhead extra bright. My crankiness got cranked up. I curled my lips and bared my teeth. I kept quite though and exited to the weight room instead. Why foist my moody self on unsuspecting innocents, eh?

I was at a loss of what to do at first. I migrated to a treadmill and turned it on low. I worked up to a speed of 3.5 which is nothing to brag about. It was enough to earn a mild sweat after 30 minutes. I broke out in a profuse menopausal soak on the recumbant bike. Even my ears were dripping. I’m embarrassed to say it was less than 10 minutes in broken starts and stops. I finished my hour with 20 minutes of qigong. I felt refreshed and uncranked. All the apples back in my cart.