O IS FOR OPTIMISM

I’m a little late in getting up and dressing up today. I lingered a little longer over Sue Grafton’s G is for Gumshoe this morning. I had trouble putting it down. I love the book cover. I love the character, Kinsey Millhone. I fewl happy and secure in tagging along with her. I’m practicing discipline so I put it down. I went downstairs and hung up the laundry. Then I painted my index card for the 365 Something 2018 Challenge. I was in danger of abandoning it. I had given up on it for a little while. It’s that discipline thing. I completed day 179 this morning.

Then I had trouble wanting to fold up the dried linen. I stood there looking at it. There’s no use trying to understanding it. There’s no need in understanding it. I just have to do it and put it all away. And so I did. I know I am not the only person with such feelings. I can hear different conversations in my memory.

I don’t know why I don’t do it. I have the things for it. But I don’t do it. I don’t know why. I know I should do it but I don’t.” 

I can hear myself offering advice and suggestions of “Why don’t you try this? Why don’t you try that?”  I was never successful. Nobody ever took my advice/suggestions. I was left feeling pissed off most of the time. Now I’m seeing I’m as guilty as they are but I DO try. I have trouble with keeping it up.

collage

Yesterday, I talked about metamorphosis. It’s only later that I realize it is kind of retarded for me to talk about it at my age. Do I have time left to morph? I am no spring chicken as they say. I am on a pension for crying out loud. I must be somewhat retarded. My head is still stuck in youth. I’m still thinking about when I grow up. I guess it is not a bad thing. I still have optimism. I have hope. I am still looking forward.

Today I am not quite as sleepy. The sun is out. Most of my ‘must dos’ are done. The rest of the day is just gravy/groovy.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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