Day 114 and 115, November 17, 2016 @7:25 pm
As the day ebbs into afternoon and evening, I feel my energy and my spirit go likewise. I remind myself that’s the nature of my body and mind sometimes. The day is getting shorter. The night casting longer shadows. I tell myself not to lose heart and do not beat myself up. I can fake it till I make it. It works to act and behave in a desirable manner. I have a choice of how to behave for a desired outcome.
I’m sitting here with my keyboard to tap out a few words. It’s not what l’m liking to do now, but it is my choice. It would be so easy to just curl up and pull the blanket over my head. I feel a bit of the early Christmas blues coming on. Are you feeling it – the what to do’s, the what to give and to whom, the how to celebrate and who with? These are all squirming beneath the surface. But now I’ve brought them up on top.
Today, I saw the ‘blues’ in our waiter at a restaurant. The normally energetic, bubbly young man was quiet and clearly not happy. He was subdued and polite, apologizing in whispers for our long wait. I felt so much for him. I wanted to ask if he was alright. I did not, respecting him. I wondered if I have absorbed his energy. I tend to do that. That is my nature.
I’m sitting, tapping and being aware of my nature. I’m talking with the Lord. It is comforting with each tap on a key. I’m learning from my spiritual teachers. I’m learning to sit and be still with my discomfort. I’m learning about choices – what is significant and what is not. I’m learning to live.